Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Seven Weeks

OK, I need a new battle plan. And that’s what it is, really, a major battle in the war against breast cancer, right?!! I have a very obvious and caustic distaste for chemotherapy (in case my good readers haven’t notice!! :o>) That has to change. A positive outlook and strong belief in success is vital to healing. I know that! I’ve always known that! So I have to adjust my mindset.

One of my favorite TV shows is NCIS with Mark Harmon as Leroy Jethrow Gibbs, a former Marine sniper. So this will be my choice of a new battle plan. That vile liquid (oops, sorry, that healing joy juice) that will be pumped into me will be carrying microscopic snipers searching out all the bad guys wherever they might be lurking. And because they are picked for their expert marksmanship and strength under fire, they’ll beat back those invaders and annihilate them where they stand! How’s that?!!

Of course, as in any war, there are the unfortunate civilian casualties – that can’t be helped, it’s part of war. My casualties will be my hair (which is already suffering dramatically from the loss of estrogen (the hormone replacement therapy I was taking for severe hot flashes, one of the joys of a woman aging), fatigue (a good excuse for a siesta on a very hot day!!), mouth sores (ice cream!!), yada yada yada.

So, assuming I ever hear back from the chemo office as to a start date, I will go in with a better attitude. I promise. (I better make a couple little post-its to hang around the house to remind myself!!)

Other little stuff – One hole in my chest has not totally closed up yet, and there will be a pretty decent sized indention there - not my idea of cleavage! My underarm has filled out a bit (probably too much fluid still) meaning I can now shave without a problem, as long as I’m gentle, since there’s still no feeling there. Have to look in the mirror to put on deodorant though, to make sure it goes in the right spot!! I’m still totally numb around the wound/incision/scar about an inch out all the way around, and when I test it, the flesh is very hard (unless of course I’m carrying extra ‘broth’ and I have little pools here and there, which still happens once in a while!) When Dr K stuck me with a horse needle the other day to draw off the ‘broth’, I never felt it at all. Thankfully! My forearm is pretty much back to normal, but the upper arm still swells, sometimes badly. I was able to open my ceiling fan yesterday!! The arm is still tight, and I have to concentrate to reach things, but it’s way better. The only area that is still ‘pins and needles’ is the soft tender inside area of the upper arm – I brush my arm against my body and it feels very swollen. I feel my chest rib area to see if it is, in fact, swollen, and it’s not ! It’s the nerves in the arm that are telling lies!

There is definite progress in the first phase of this battle, slow, but noticeable!

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