Tuesday, March 30, 2010

6 weeks gone

Six weeks have past since I lost a chunk of flesh - and a long six weeks it's been! I've learned a lot. Much of it is information I'd hoped NEVER to need. And much of it is incredibly inspiring - how strong the mind can be, how precious friends are, how much love and laughter help get me thru a day!

The holes in my chest are finally looking like they will heal. I haven't burdened you with pictures, although I have taken some for my records, because they are really rather graphic. But the trouble spots are greatly improved, which makes me feel much better overall.

My arm recovery is spotty. Some days it feels almost normal. Some days, like yesterday, the swelling is so severe I feel like I'm walking lopsided from the weight. I was thinking that Dr. K might have to siphon off some more fluid when I see her later this week. But this morning my bicep is only about a half inch larger than the left side, which isn't that unusual since I'm a righty. The snapping rubber band feeling is gone, but there is still an ache, like a deep bruise, where they snapped at me! And I could almost open my overhead fan in the living room yesterday, which is the goal I've set for myself.

I continue to stress over the fact that I'm taking so damned long to heal up, but being reminded regularly that I'm older, don't bounce back like I used to, blah blah blah, is getting so old, I try not to whimper out loud about it anymore!

So far, I haven't suffered from the major head trips I've been warned about - one of looking at myself in the mirror and not having a boob where it's supposed to be - I guess I'm still more interested in the healing process and dealing with dressing the wound. But I do choose to laugh at the positioning of things! There's this 10" slashing wound across my chest where my boob used to be - and I REALLY mean 'where my boob used to be'! as in when I was about 16! The remaining boob has suffered from age and gravity, and is now heading south toward my knees, as all the rude and crude jokes remind us 'older' gals, no where near where the wound would indicate it should be. Now THAT is an unkind reminder of one of those nasty 'facts of life'!!! So when my mind is wandering around in the ozone, and flashes across reconstruction, it wonders where, oh where, would they attach the damned thing??! :o)

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